To whom it may concern,
You may be surprised to know, but we have a great deal in common. We both love movies. I’m sure we could find other things to talk about if we had to, but movies are primarily why I read your blog.
Yes, I thought that might surprise you.
I have been for the majority of my life a rabid fan of cinema, skipping from director to director, from actor to actor with the glee of a schoolboy discovering masturbation.
I was interested to find your article entitled “The (insert number here) (most overrated/worst) (actors, movies) of all time.”
Upon seeing this title, I stifled a quick gasp of excitement. For a few years now the imdb.com ranking system has been a constant companion of mine. I find rankings generated by the combined opinions of millions of users an excellent barometer in choosing my cinema. Surely, your presentation and analysis of collected and trustworthy data will be the highlight of my day.
We both know where this is going, don’t we, you arrogant pussbucket.
I’ve seen your lists. I’ve read them and your justifications, and I have to say, you aren’t special enough to tell me these things. I don’t care how many movies you’ve seen. I don’t care how intelligent and refined your taste in cinema is. I don’t know who you are, and I have no trust or respect for your judgment, which means you’re subject to the grading system.
If I disagree with:
One item – Your credibility is reduced. If I ever recognize your name again, be it on a movie blog or a suicide note, I will harbor a healthy skepticism for your words.
Two items – You have proven your ignorance. I have to say, maybe if you paid more attention to the movies you (allegedly) watch, your world view wouldn’t be so sadly warped.
Three items – You disgust me. Scum like you shouldn’t be allowed to watch movies, lest you dirty the experience for us all. You are unworthy of the time it takes to skip past your blog on my RSS feed. I’m un-subscribing.
I look forward to your next article.
Sincerely,
John Campbell
